this is the first outing since you

Since "we" became and "you" and "I"

And I was terrified

But, it went alright.

Butterflies formed in my gut

But, not the kind you used to give

A different kind

A new kind

A kind that I could get used to.

I watched his face as he talked

I observed his mannerisms

And probably looked like a creep

But, for an instance, I could not recall yours.

We watched a movie and he laughed

A loud laugh that was contagious

A deep, full laugh

That was so different from what I've heard before.

I was awkward

And he was nice

We talked

And it was nice.

I apologized for being awkward

He said it was alright

He asked what I'm writing

I said "Nothing special"

I think I lied.

Not that I'm in love

But, now a bit less afraid

Like a weight lifted

Who knew fear weighed so much?

So what am I writing?

Just jotting down some thoughts

...Possibly

But...nothing special?

I might have lied.