blood shot eyes in the mirror.

I am at the lowest point of my life once
again

why do I come back here
again
and
again
and
again?

I come back
and I come back
and I come back
and I never forget
how bad it is
here

yet I never cease to return
again
and
again
and
again

pleasure before pain,
play before work,
I cannot escape the cycle
as I dig my own grave
deeper

I have infinite confidence
but zero self-worth

I can boast about how I can reach the sun
but I would sooner sell myself for free than
try to prove that statement

I have failed
again
and
again
and
again

but I hear hope
in the waters beating against the tub;
once again
they say to me,

“time to wash away
thy sin
for I forgive you
for tears look no
different within my
loving arms”

and I return silently
head low and
eyes sunken
washing myself
as the child would
hoping to birthed
again
and
again
and
again