Death is not pleasant.
February 4, 2012

I bear a pain so deep.
It creates a hole in my chest.
Teary eyed, I can't sleep, can't rest.
These feelings so steep.
I can't help but digress.
This is stuck with me,
for the rest.
of my life.

A death, a painful memory.
Oh, how you were so close to me.
Even though I'm not there,
I feel like I'm watching you walk away from me.
Slip out of my grasp.
My voice is growing rasp.
I can't talk, can't breath, can't eat, can't feel.
Anything but my heart ache and my layers of strength peel.

I haven't felt this hurt in a very long time.
Watching your condition climb.
From better to worse,
up and down we go.
Something I couldn't know.
Is how much it would hurt to watch you go.
So.

How do I move on?
How can I let this be a phase?
Something to move past,
Just a temporary daze.

I just can't stand this pain,
even though I knew it all along.
This is not a happy song.
But a reminder of the good times gone.
Oh, how I long.
For your sweet embrace.
Your pleasant stories' tastes.
Life feels like such a waste.

To be given to the young,
Yet flung,
far away from the deserving ones.
Death's battle has been won.
You're just another one.
A casualty, to feelings so salty.
My tears pour and run like the sea.

How can I continue to be me?
When you were such a part of me.
It's like I am a tree.
With its roots sawed off.
Dying with a nervous cough.

It's enough to see you wither.
It's enough to see life waste.
It's enough to know there's no tomorrow,
for you, or your warm embrace.
I just can't stand to let you go.
Or even to know.
I'm so sorry to see you go.

I love you,
and I want you to know.
That I'll never forget you.
Even when I'm old.
And it's my turn to be told.
That it's time to go,
not allowed to say "No."