From solid to vapor
Just like that
To ease the pain
To make you
A distant memory

Watching the replay
Of the glass breaking
But training myself
To cry a little less
Each time

Scrapping off the scabs
As they form freshly
On my old cut
To prove to myself
That healing is possible

It's getting harder to remember
The salted tear streaked cheeks
The burnt, dried out throats
And the shoe scuffs on the hardwood floor

But that is just what I planned
Just what I had hoped would happen
The artful disappearance
I planned out so well
The disappearance of my emotions

The numbing affects
I knew would work
Far better than the anesthesia

Finding solace
In the vaporized memories

Turing passionately saturated memories
Into dry emotionless ones
Until they harder so much
That they become
Replications of the tragic bathroom tiles

Feeling nostalgic  
As I smash each one
With the heels of my shoes
Then with the fists of my hands
Leaving traces of my DNA
Scattered amongst the ceramics

How fitting to end it all
The same way
Blood and destruction

And remembering
How I can easily turn
Any solid into vapor
And knowing that
With this lethal gift
I was going to be okay.