ders ah leetola hole ah in ah dee woll in my housse wherre i like to go to crrawl into and ah hide and wear childrens clothing. Ah you knoww,, de diapers and ah things. twirly hats and big ah big ah BIG swirly lolli pops. so ah delicious of a baby do i become. EVERY stranger on de whole neighborhood wants to ah talk ah to mee. im so cute ah. ders a no way around it. and i like to ah show it off. yess... to enTICE ah dee old mens. who are so helpless in front of me dey can not ah stop. no stopp ah de drooling in de mouth. no stopp ah de grrabbing with der hanns. no stopp from de taking off ah de clothes ah to make a sandwich de amore with ah leetol baby mee. but ah dey ah can not ah FIT in dis tiny tiny tiny hole in ah my woll in ah my housse....and i go to bed lonely and crying. i feel ah so BAD! so BAD for de other lonely lonely mans who are all probably doing very ah cute things too in de holes in ah der wolls in ah der housses... it iss ah truth to bear.. god..no god...whoo knows.. all i ah do know iss diss: we are all ah lonely sad peoples dressing like de baby in ah hole in de wolls in ah our housse. for tears of crying, i give to you.
this was obviously written by a very well-adjusted italian man.