i know sometimes you forget that i still exist when you’re not around.
i forget that sometimes too.
i know that no one has the right to rest their happiness on my shoulders
and i know that if i can't count on someone
i don't have to make sure they can count on me
and my fingers are the only ones i ever count on anyway.
i give because i don’t know how to take.
i pour out because i don’t know how to let you in.
and mostly it isn't even feel real
it doesn't come from my kindness,
it’s just all i know how to do.
it's automatic.
even if i don’t care about you,
i want you to feel cared about.
it’s like the less loved i feel,
the more i try to make sure other people feel loved.
because i can't control how people treat me
but i can control how i treat them.
i just don’t know if i can do it anymore.
i’m wearing thin and it feels like there’s not much of me left
and i feel like i have to save whatever leftovers there are for other people.
i always come home empty.
so i’m done feeling like the heels you keep in the back of your closet,
because you can’t just put me on when you want to feel better
and take me off when you’re done.
i'm not the porch light you forgot to turn off
and i'm not your one-word text message
i'm more like your right hand,
like you don’t even realize how important i am
until i’m too broken for you to keep using me.
i’m not here to help you **** time
and i don’t just exist when you need something.
i'm not your morning coffee
you can’t just pour me out when you’re done with me
because i pour out so much already
and i’m exhausted and you're not around
and i'm stuck cleaning up your mess
so that i can ignore how much of a mess i am.
it's like i'm last the last domino  
people fall back on me but i don't have anyone to fall back on.
i expend because i don't want to be expendable.
but if you were giving something back
i wouldn't mind giving so much of myself to you.