I realized when the fish wriggled above me
and eddying currents of pyrite glinted like stars inches before my eyes
and wispy tentacles of my hair trailed my descent
that perhaps
just maybe
you deserved better.

You asked me permission to take a photograph
but this was in August
and what I remembered when your fingers fondled the shutter
was that once I was trying to take a test
but your shoulders were wide and clothed
and I studied the way your muscles worked
while you worked out formulas and graphed
and now you were in front of me
with your eyes squinted in concentration
twisting the lens toward my neck
and I felt as exposed
as exposed as the medical sketches in father's copy on Grey's Anatomy
skin flayed
veins pulsing
colored for ease of comprehension.