I'm mushing my food
Before eating it,
Drinking dry
Red wine,
And feeling
Distantly self destructive.

I had gotten irritated
And was beating myself up about it.

Looking at the world
Through the tangle
Of curls on my head
I feel like an animal
And there's no one
To contain me
But myself.

So I prefer to drown
In pillows and mattresses
Escaping the world
Via dreamlandTM.

Knowing
I'll beat myself up about it.
Preferring
To beat myself up later
Than beat others up now.

(It's not that I'm masochistic
Or else selfless
But I'll beat myself up
Either way.)