I'm selfish
single-minded
greedy
and I don't really give a **** about you
your job.
your kids.
your vacation photos.
that time you put a scarf on your cat.

I'm narcissistic
vain
and more than just a little neurotic.

Worst of all,
I try to pretend that
I am not all of the aforementioned characteristics
while I'm acutely aware of the fact that

I'm ******* awful.

Nice to meet you. How long will this one last?