I don't want these to be about you anymore.
I don't want every word I write to bleed your name.
I don't want every thought I think to revolve around your eyes.
(The green ones that I remind you almost everyday only a slim percent of people have.)
I want to find another him.
Hopefully this new him will write about a her.
Hopefully that her will be me.
All I know is I wish I weren't so hungover with the love drunk thoughts of us.
I wish I no longer slept with intentions of dreaming of you.
I wish the "he"s would turn into "we"s.
Maybe I realized that it was better that I wasn't with you
or maybe I just realized you'd never want me.
Perhaps I'm just lying to myself because I know there will never be another him.
I may say there's another him
I may write about another him
I may think about another him
but what I feel inside will never be about another him.
It will always just be a large jig-saw puzzle of emotion.
One where the feelings match to one face
one face only
yours.