I'm dead
I'm dead not because of you
And I've not really blamed you
Though I just read a poem you wrote where you thought I blamed you

Your mother
She's not all that bad
She was just really bad to me,
Sometimes

Kind of like I was bad to you,
Sometimes

She killed me
Like I killed you

But I became
The child
Who gets bullied
Who grows to be a bully

I've made such mistakes
But I need to clear some things

In those two weeks I ignored you
I reflected too

And when I came back
I tried so hard

Not to fix you
But to fix myself

Because as you very well know
I was the broken one all along

Except now that I've fixed myself
You've left me to die

For real this time
So if there's anything I can blame you for

It's for locking me up now
Imprisoning my newly freed me

I still don't blame you though
Even though you stuck with me

Until the moment
I was fixed

That you led me on through the process
But once I got to the finish line

Told me there was no race
After all

I sit now alone with my mind
Wondering if I deserved what I got

If I deserved the threats
The phone calls

Getting the **** scared out of me

But I don't wonder one second

That you deserved anything I did to you
But if only we were left alone

Maybe it would have been different

Except now I don't even know
If I can say that because it sounds like I'm not taking blame

But like I said outside your car window
I've become you

I don't know what's okay to say
Or what's okay to feel

And I won't let someone help me
The way you're letting her

I mean I will and I am
I've found someone who's been through similar

She's really cool and
I've become a great friend with her

But I'll not let myself fall in love
Because I have more respect for you than that

I have more respect than to act like
What we had was a fools game

Because I can read between the lines,
I tried to see both sides

But sometimes thats hard
And it's really ******* hard

I thought you had more respect for what we had
Than to dump me that way

I thought you had more respect for it
Than to jump into something new so fast

I thought you'd at least be mindful
Of what you spent so much time

Making me believe
That you'd be waiting for me

Like I'll always wait for you
After all