It's hard for me
To feel my heartstrings
Pull apart at the very thought
That we could be
Anything other than this.

It's hard for me
To feel my lungs
Catch on my inhales
Every time you laugh
At one of my dumb jokes.

It's hard for me
To feel my chest
Constricting, clenching,  clasping
At the idea
Of you just walking into my arms.

It's hard for me
To feel my stomach
Explode in butterflies
Anytime you throw a smile
Even in my general direction.

It's just so hard for me
To know you're going home
To a girl who's not me

Kissing someone
who's not me.

Loving someone
Who just
isn't
me

It's hard to feel your brain arguing with your heart
because your brain always knows
how stupid your heart really is.