Bent twigs in front of me
making thought like this is the place
i think things through, at least
a minute too longs, better than a moment
too soon
gracefully making my ways- it shows through
graceful or not I'm coming- home
doesn't mean I'm on the top of my game
it just means I'm an ant winning
on the hunt gives it new meaning
for you
I'm just not one to see things through
been a bird and been a place
never been happier than i was
that day
when i thought we could just...stay
but now we try
nothin- way too far
past the end
------------------
and I'm done
feeling wrong
in a world where there
is no wrong or right
I lived with me
and I lived alone
I went too far
but not too long
in case I see
what I want to see
I had my eyes replaced
with cameras from a cellphone
I have learned when to
learn when to fight
----------------
im not one without a third eye
still don't mean i got second sight
----------------
chorus
----------------
solo
got no hands sept the ones on my legs
so ill run till the end of my dying days
im gross for you and youre too clean for me
but the memory of you
sure i think of you
no matter how much i try not
you , a persistent pain
a stubborn house guest
from the grave.
is it you haunting i
or is it i haunting myself
with you, the ever growing barage
of unanswered questions
and of
shuddering at the words
you spoke into my soul.
------
I was found lying down in a warm pool of my own thought erasing time and the way i feel, erasing memory in itself.
im not living because id be living in hell.
im not breathing, the airs filled with you.
just as well, just as well
im not leaving , till i get my fill
get my fill get my head clear
let go of the refrain
not gonna let it take over this brain
head clear, new head , clear
but only for a sec, i came falling back
to earth and that thing thats always right
I'm living lies, but not living in a lie
I'm learning despite losing my mind
am i still quick to conclude, I am not good for you?
Risk quick to project, I'm more to defend
youre quick to respect that
i ******* hate you
im closing my gates to you
park is full
but everyone else is welcome
leaving your mark
its a scar and its quickly healing
this scar will not impress
it will only express
or just depress
and give pain afterwards
it deals with it
///////////
i got lost in your deepness
but i remembered how to swim
thats how i got to my island
i couldn't get my fill get my fill
or keep it real enough to fill
get my head clear
let go of the pst
of the past
hey
buddy its not coming back
can't twist the hurt you dealt
just because of the way i react
you can't take nothing back
nothing back, I'm taking everything
get real with your head
feels, lemon pledge the spots
the ones you can't till youre clean
when I'm green and I've seen nothing to keep
this is me keeping me from jumping.
the love thing isn't for me its for you'n every other sucker in the world
I'm done getting my fill
now i have just gotta keep my head clear
no fear
dont I l ve here?
I took muse lf to heaven
then went back to hell
i guess I'm just that evil
that i would break
both our hearts
again
written on Renaissance Marriot on my 19th birthday. i spent it overlooking Toronto in a hotel room drinking miller light legally, while my mother slept in the other side of the suite. i was there to see my favorite band radiohead, but the show was canceled due to a death in the stage collapse. i have yet to see them. i had just lost my best friend to possession and at the time i felt as if i would only be able to have her back in my life as my lover or whatnot, and i was about to be going manic. i spent the end of june in a mental hospital legally admitted. because the show was canceled, my loving mother being the sweet heart that she is bought me my favorite guitar an electric acoustic Fender Armstrong Signature model. the next night i put words to the music i heard in my head while writing this letter poem. i hated it but its the only awkward lose leaf poem that stood out when i was picking out a bunch. i sort of hope you enjoy my past. i know i did
where i end and you begin