I don't know,
how to turn on my heels
and leave you lonely,
even if it would be better for us both.

And I don't know
how to use the arms
that hold you close at night
to push you away
even though I know I need too.

I am beginning to find too much comfort
in your scars
too much laughter by your side,
too much sweetness in your kisses
and I do not want to be that close to someone again.

Because today I received a letter
thick and important,
giving me my freedom
to leave this town I have lived in my whole life,
and you.
I will leave you too.

I am going to go
788 miles away from your sleepy eyes
and messy hair.

I want to,
I want to fall into a world
where no one knows me,
and I will be cleansed
by the blanket
of anonymity.

I am still figuring out,
how to fold my fingers into yours
without holding on too tightly,
but I will keep your name in my pocket,
your words beneath my tongue,
and I will leave.
I will leave.