Life isn't happy endings
and the streets aren't paved with gold
and fortune favours the other guy
no matter if he's brave or bold

While we all dream of fairy tales
and once upon a times
its my sad duty to tell the truth
in this disappointing rhyme

Ladies if you kiss a frog
you'll just get frog goop on your lips
there'll be no dashing prince
broad of shoulder, thin of hips

And gentlemen I kid you not
there is no sleeping beauty
the only girls who sleep all day
are those who work night duty

(and trust me, you don't wanna be waking them up)

No magic lamp, or secret word
will help you change your lot
so **** it up my buttercups
what you have is all you've got.