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Aug 2010
It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.
        (and it’s been longer
        since I’ve been able to think about you
        without breaking down.)

I didn’t think you’d be here,
much less talk to me.
        (Worth your time now, am I?)
It’s nice to see you; I’ve noticed you’ve put on some weight,
but that smile of yours
        (the one that I love)
hasn’t changed a bit.

How have you been?
Ah, still dating him, eh?
        (and you still hang all over him,
        God that used to **** me off.)

That’s good, I suppose…
        (seeing how you left me for him, he’d better have ******* stuck around)
You two were an unlikely pair
        (I never told you what he said that night
        two months before he starting dating you)

but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.

Do you have any close friends anymore?
        (anyone who can keep your secrets as well as I did?)
        (or did you desert everyone like you deserted me,
        too caught up in “love” to bother with anyone else?)

And tell me, do you believe that you’re beautiful now?
        (Are my words still on your mirror?)
Do you remember those things I used to tell you
to make you smile?
        (Did he ever do that for you?
        Or did he just ******* really well?)


Do you ever think about me?
        (Do you miss what we had?)
        (And does it hurt you as much as it hurts me to remember?
        I hope it does.)

Do you remember that promise you made me,
right before you told me we were over?
        (I was willing to forgive you. I was willing to believe…)
        (if you actually gave a **** about keeping me around.)

You hurt me so much.
        (Why couldn’t we have worked this out?)
        (I really meant so little to you?)

I still love you, you know.
I hate you for what you did to me.
        …I think I miss you.

                *Why couldn’t you have tried a little harder?
Two years later and I am finally to the point where I can start talking about the pain.
Italics is the part of me that still loves her.
Bold is the part of me that is still very bitter and angry.
Normal is what I'd most likely say to her if we ever talked again.
Written by
Amaya K Lilium
582
 
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