Stuck,
Uncertain whether in the beginning or the end
But does it matter?
I try to look ahead and pretend
That breaking glass doesn't scatter
I reach for that paper and that pen
Trying to hold in an unwanted tear
But then my words reflected by the ink,
Figure out the pens cry of fear.
And then I look around
Certain of the uncertainties, aware of the unawareness
Holding on to an edge
Then I glimpse his eyes, too far for me to reach,
Yet the echo of his voice still stuck in my head
I can still hear the unspoken words repeating, triggering the superfluous blame
Still muted behind walls
Walls of dishonor, disgrace, walls built by layers of shame
An inner struggle, shaped by the outer actions, of the mind verses the soul
Regardless of the consequences, I blindly reject the "Future's" call
I've spent endless nights, drowned myself with thoughts
Going hand in hand with the shades of black
Tried to relate to those shooting stars, those on a journey of no way back
And I did relate, for I knew my starting point, and I knew I was heading far
However indecisive about the awaiting future boulevard, turns out I am that star
Dealing with doubtful thoughts, facing the faces of the phases that await me still,
Taking hesitant steps, one after the other
Climbing that undecided future hill
And it seems the decision isn't easy, but I'll use his tender touch as a guide
I'll whisper in the pure ears of the deaf, and use the open eyes of the blind
For it seems it is a blessing,
To be neglectful of a thing or two
And for me nothing is as it seems, remember the sea isn't blue
I will search for the pause button eager to buy some satisfying time
For in a blink of an eye, it’ll all be over and what’s mine will no longer be mine…