I see a different person when I walk past you,
and I notice how much you've changed.
You've stripped yourself of your vulnerability,
and you're no longer readable unlike before.

What I also notice
is the way your eyes twinkle when you look at her,
the way you trail after her in class,
the way her name rolls off your tongue perfectly, as if you practiced it,
the way you designed a special smile just for her,
the way you hug her jokingly but the look on your face says you could stay that way forever
the way you fool around and pretend you're just friends.

But I'm also good at pretending.
Looking away and pretending I didn't see that.
That my heart doesn't hurt whenever you're both near,
that my heart doesn't get stabbed a million times
whenever i see how much you care for her,
how much you love her,
I'm sorry I didn't notice when you loved me,
but it hurts so much,
because it's so different
the ways you love her and loved me
and yet you still have my heart on a choke hold.