In highschool I thought I liked girls I thought it wasn't right, to even look that if I tried it would be different, abnormal I didn't know it was okay To want to kiss another girl To touch another girl That it would be a violation I wouldn't be liked back
I thought I had to be a certain way dress a certain way act a certain way I didn't wear make up, but also didn't wear masculine clothing I was just me
I got stares from butch lesbians that were in gangs I was frightened and alone "What are you staring at?" if I looked back Looks based off of intimidation
this wasn't me, this wasn't it
I tried to date men, same ole same ole video games, boredom, not having drive it wasn't interesting, it wasn't making my heart race going through one motion to another I tried.
I was told that I was just making it up That I was pretending That I was doing it for attention Fantasizing about female celebrities if only
I then came out to myself dated a girl who wasn't a girl he was genderqueer he was trans and it all began I was attracted to beyond the gender binary
2 dollar margarita nights at the gay bar in New York queers stumbling, fumbling, sweating, dancing going outside to just light a cigarette for some pretty girl connect with eyes just to talk just to have a connection
Turns to quick ****** experiences With a blink of an eye She kisses me, she wants me She want's go further That wasn't me I don't know you you don't know my heart
Then I met you
Wrong pronouns at the grocery store No correction, you know who you are Questions on identification, even at the gay bar It's okay, you understand
Under the Christmas lights of my room in my bed with your smell left in my sheets I'm so happy, I'm filled with joy Tears rushing down my face I can't believe I'm in love