There are some things
I never said
And some
I have not forgotten about you
They are as follows

1. I have not forgotten
The way your lips parted
When you would say my name
As if it were some prayer
And not some messily scrawled pencil work
In the back of a stall

2. I have not forgotten
The way you would hold me
When I told you I wanted to die
When you would sit with me
And see that I was a monster
That there was a beast
Hiding inside of my head
And no amount of love
Could rid it

3. You were like Beast
And I was like Beauty
Maybe it was the other way around
Maybe you were the one
Who brought lights to others
And I was the one who drowned

4. Not everything about you was bad
You taught me
What love feels like
What true love can do
How,
Despite everything a person feels
Love can make you or break you
And you broke me

5. I told myself
I would not have another relationship
And I lied to myself
I do not know how
To be serious anymore
All I can do is
Play around
And cheat myself

6. I couldn't think of anything else
But the way your hands curved
The way your knuckles shouted
My name when they were curled
Around my neck

The way your mouth
Formed my name
On my neck
And created a bruise
That lasted for centuries

The way you pressed
Yourself against me
And whispered
"I love you, so much"

7. Do you still love me now?

8. I never told you
That I started smoking
So I could burn your scent
Out of my lungs
And taste you in my mouth

I never told you
That I started drinking
So I could forget you
And forget myself

I never told you
I started acting out
So you could pay attention to me again

I never told you
Just how much
You ****** me up

9. You were the name I moaned out
On restless Saturday nights

You are no longer that name

10. You taught me
How to fall in love with strangers
So much that
I saw their tiny little flaws
And still thought they were beautiful

I could see
The flowers growing from
Their broken and withered body
And I thought to myself
Thank you,
For teaching me how to love
But also ******* me over