I can’t help but envy those Whose first thought in the morning Is a person or a place Or a feeling or a face Because all I have these days Are a bottle and a pen And a lighter and then I think about how lonely the dark Must feel to be When it is only it and me Because the dark is the only one who sees What it is truly like to be me It is the only one who knows What happens once men walk out my door When the insides of my thighs are sore Because my insides tell me I am nothing but a ***** ***** The dark must have been the one To predict That I am only destined To get more and more sick And my future is lipstick And a hotel bar Only because my present is a used rubber And a tangerine scar The dark knows how ****** up it is To live inside of a head so twisted The dark is tall and it’s black And it stands on two feet It watches me breathe And it watches me sleep It drinks all my tears It knows all my fears and (What’s worse?) It is always near It shouts "Long live the fear!” Into my ear And “Long live the boozing And smoking for the rest of your years On earth!” I know it isn’t fair And, surely, it isn’t right But it isn’t worth it to try to put up a fight To a void with no mass; A storm that cannot be put into a class The dark wants me beat, and I know it will The dark wants to eat, and it has me to **** The darkness is a monster And the monster is rare But when it is around You can taste it in the air You can hear its hum And you can feel its glare So what would you do If you felt the darkness there?