walking to work today I realized we'd never have another Christmas
I've been rereading words from when you knew me
                                                                   from that sumer at the lake
                                                    where I heard of your Nita

and how you two became my boys

     logically i know you couldn't write at the end,
that you didn't know me
                                                                                                                        but my heart doesn't care
it didn't hurt when you died
          
                                                            because what awaited
here for you was hell, but today
it hurt
       and I missed you like crazy
                          I hope you know that
    how deeply I loved you
                                          and your Nita
                                                                                                                and that perhaps you're together
                                                                                                        as you were always meant to be
                                                      and maybe you'll guide me to my other
                                            for my own life list