I feel so tired, I want to sleep,
Have felt this way so many years.
I try so hard, but not for me,
Let me permanently dry my tears.

I’ve let down all those around,
Guilt so deep, my pain to bear.
Breaking what I searched and found,
Unable to see and keep what’s there.

Is this my punishment bestowed on me?
A life of misery sentenced to be.
Happiness not deserving to me,
For failing my responsibility.

I try to accept;
My fate, matches the pain I’ve caused.
I seek forgiveness, that I don’t deserve,
Hence rejecting, relenting doors.

Feel like loneliness I must accept,
Punish myself continuously,
Until there’s nothing left.

When I eventually have paid my keep,
My forgiveness accepted?
Then
I lay my head to sleep.


Steve Collins
12th September 2008