this oppressive fatigue
pushing, blanketing my consciousness  
watching as numbers swim into ink that
bleed all over the page
and daydreams turn into nightmares
and love is as transparent as fragile glass
when balance is balancing on a tiny pill
and the headaches don't come and go
but swell and retreat
never really there, never really gone
just as you are
never really there, never really gone
I stay as still and silent as possible
but I am
running, screaming down the hallway
tearing at the demons pounding on my temples
crying big salty tears
that soak my face and are lost somewhere
in the atmosphere
I know and have known what it's like
to drown for
days
months
and still be alive.