I just cant hold it in anymore. I dont know what to do. These feelings are getting in the way of everything. The feeling of pain, shame, hurt, sadness, heartbreak and so much more. I cant get anything done with them in my way. The voices in my head tell me to only focus on those feelings. Its hard to live a happy life when youre not happy... Life is hard for a self harmer.. People look at you differently. They look at you as if you are not human. They treat you diffirently. Some treat you with more respect and others just hurt you with words. Little do they know that hurting me is not going to het them anywhere. The only thing they can get out of that is my death. I dont know how to deal with this anymore. I push all the help i get away. I only do this because i dont want anyone else to get hurt. I will always put everyone before myself. The reason for that is because i dont want anyone to be as unhappy as i am. I know how that feels and i dont want anyone to go through that pain im going through. My friends try to make me happy and i would force a smile and a laugh. What do they want me to do? Just be happy. Well thats not going to happen... Happiness doesnt just come, you have to work for it. I wish i could please everyone... Sadly no one can...

Is there anyone out there who can accept me for me. The crazy girl who just needs some love...