I'm tired of writing about you
Wasted energy
Wasted thoughts
When I wake up in bed
And beg God to make the dreams stop

TV on
TV off
Light bothers my eyes
Voices become annoying
But the dark holds no surmise

So I walk out to the kitchen
Feed the cats
Drink some water
And then I sit down on the couch
Fiddle with the lighter

Spark a cigarette and smoke it
Gag between the puffs
Every hit used to forget you
But now it's not enough

My legs cradle my stomach
Hand laying on my forehead
Trying to stop my mind
From thinking what it shouldn't have been

Scream at myself a little
Then laugh a good bit too
For the self torture I'm inflicting
Imagining her with you

I come down off my panic
The tired sets back in
Go back and lay in bed
Pray just one more time
Close my eyes hoping
It doesn't happen again

So much dread
So much dread

*Get out my ******* head.