It has been four days since we talked. I do not mean to gawk, but I have been staring at this empty screen, tearing at my thinning hair with nostrils flaring, looking for a sign that this is not the beginning of yet another falling out. We are going through a drought: things to talk about are few and far between, and there is a lot of "I don't understand what you mean" and "You're only fifteen, you wouldn't get it anyways." You are my dry land and I am drowning without your hand to pull me up to the surface. I can't pretend that I am your best friend, though you are surely mine. I'd like to know if you think it is the end this time, but I am so nervous that I can't take my shaking fingers and ask the question; I am much too desperate and the suggestion that I could be the reason we don't even chat anymore lingers like a bad tattoo. I need to draw the line between when it's time to move on and being perfectly fine. I know I'm lying to myself and I know I'll try to mend something that might be irreparably bent with only my own desire and a bit of twine; because I could never say goodbye. Especially not if there's a chance you're still mine.
**** i love how i overreact to ******* everything and also how im so creepy ****