another hymn

I'm not religious,

but I want to be,

I tried so hard to be,

I know the four truths better than I know my own skin,

i idealize the worship,

i lust to be on my knees,

begging for forgiveness from an entity I don't know if I believe exists,

forgiveness for sins i didn't commit,

lord I am submissive,

I am eager,

i am waiting,

Lord send me a sign,

any sign,

anything to prove your existence and I will believe harder than a saintly nun at midnight,

maybe you didn't take my life the night I begged every living god, if so one existed, to please let be reborn in another home,

let me try again,

I was barely ten and yet my prayers didn't reach you.

my supplications as so many others fell unto the deaf ears of yours,

if the agony of children crosswise the globe isn't enough, what will be?

would it take another penny in your pretty cup or another visit to the houses of god for me to finally be taken in your awaiting embrace?

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