My mother was never a swimmer, she signed me up for lessons when I was nine so I would never drown. That summer, I did learn how to swim, but no one prepared me for the sinking that would come 10 Augusts' later. I can smell the whiskey on your breath as you touch my cigarette mouth. I've never missed anything as much as your hands meeting every crevice of my body during those winter nights in your twin sized bed. Half-clothed, pressed against each others bodies, holding each other like the last life jacket on the Titanic, we decide we'll never see stars like this back home. Seaweed entangles our feet and I throw mine up around your waist, because I need you so much closer. Forget Death Cab. Transatlanticism is real but I don't need you to be across the ocean to know the distance between us stretches for miles, though I'm staring at your apologetic eyes in front of me. I fought to stay afloat that summer, reminding my limbs the motions of the backstroke, the butterfly. But with one glance, you had me at the bottom of the deep end.