1. I think that you'd be proud of me
If you could see me now
I haven't really done a lot
But I think that you'd be proud.
2. I'm still knee-deep in sign language–
It isn't mastered yet
And I've written lots of poetry
That the world has never read
3. I've painted on my walls, and
I've painted paper, too.
Had others paint upon my arms–
I've got some great tattoos.
4. This all sounds kind of little
It doesn't seem like a lot
But I think you would be proud of me
For just how far I've got.
5. I think you would be proud of me
If you saw how hard I've tried
If you saw that I've been healing
The things you couldn't see outside
6. The smile I gave sparingly
I give more freely now.
And I don't carry so much weight
In my body or my brow
7. I think you would be proud of me
For what I've taken off the shelf
For once, I see my reflection
And I don't hate myself
8. I know you would be proud of me
Because I didn't break
But neither do I long endure
To see how much I can take.
9. I think that you would smile
If you saw how much I've read
I've started staying up for words
I don't want to go to bed.
10. And I think that you would like
That I watch sci-fi and think of you
Those ones we watched together
Are my favorite memories, too.
11. I think you would be proud of me
Because I've tried my best
I'm giving myself room to breathe
And I'm getting better rest.
12. I'm drinking much more water
And sleeping when I can
I'm filling up my gas tank
And loving on my friends
13. These don't seem like accomplishments
But they're big to you and me
The days of not leaving my bed
Are gone for now, it seems.
14. My job is still real crummy
I don't enjoy my work
But I think you would be proud of me
Because I lean into my quirks
15. I'm no longer letting folks
Walk all over me
And I've begun to walk away when
They don't respect boundaries.
16. I think you would be proud of me
For the way that I have grown
I admit, I've come a long way
Since Jesus called you home.
17. I think you would be proud of me
For facing my own fears
And picking up the pieces
That were grounded all these years.
18. I think you would be proud of me
Because I've begun to write–
The thing I enjoyed long ago–
And I don't do it from spite
19. You will be proud of me, I think
When my book hits the shelf
And I promise in one of my books,
Your name will find itself.
20. I think you would be proud of me
For healing as I've done
And I think that you would tell me
It's okay that it wasn't fun.
21. I still feel heavy oftentimes,
I don't think that will change
But I think you might be proud of me
And that will stay the same
22. I think you might be proud of me–
I know that it is true–
That I think you might be proud of me
Cus I'm proud of me, too.