April Showers and Endless Hours

January remembers What I told it to forget It knows every chilling detail Of the cold air It remembers pink scraps of fabric And white underneath All torn away While music played softly Songs I'll never hear the same way It remembers "It's okay" It recalls vividly the perfidy I endured. January remembers What I told it to forget. May remembers What I told it to forget It recalls the spots In my vision Lungs closing Hands desperately clutching Trying to breathe The hot summer air The feeling of grass on my bare feet As arms tightened And relief At being rescued. May remembers What I told it to forget. June remembers What I told it to forget. It remembers the oil Warm air Bare skin Wandering hands It remembers the onlookers Who did nothing And recalls the girl who froze A towel beneath her While she waited for it to end. June remembers What I told it to forget. And August remembers What I told it to forget More hands My back on the floor My throat collapsing Inside angry fingers It remembers the panic When no one came to rescue me And the relief When I locked myself in the bathroom Only for him to break a hole in the door August remembers What I told it to forget. So I remember What I warned myself to forget I tried to push it down Ignore it all Images Emotions Feelings But January remembers May remembers June remembers August remembers. So I remember What I tried to make myself forget

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Written by

marisa-lu-makil

27 / F

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