ghost girl

As a child anger was just as foreign to me the same as happiness all I knew was gloom but I could separate that from my outside world I knew things other kids couldn’t learn yet I enjoyed writing and drawing rather than going outside simply grabbing a bite out to eat with my family couldn’t satisfy the hunger for something I could never taste something intangible I made the honor roll for 5 years straight I never missed a day or became late for class like a robot I followed commands and conditions before the age of 11 I became functional before emotionally understood the ride on bus was the most humbling experience ever knowing that when I got back home I’d be swallowed by something I have yet to identify an unnamed ache I walked the halls with a smile knowing on the inside I wanted to rot I don’t know when it all faded away when the melancholy turned into anger angry about the inequality inconsistency it’s not just eyes that won’t stop watering they flood because it’s easier than actually drowning like my body has to stop something deeper from consuming me entirely I skipped class my grades became lower than my eyes creativity turned into conformity I fell behind the other kids and as the years passed I didn’t care if I caught up to them or not somewhere along the way survival became performance instead of expression I no longer want to survive alone please accompany me emotionally

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Written by

souletry

18 / F

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