To rise above all the voices that tried to bring me down,
The gestures that wound, the silences meant to hurt.
I dreamed of a vengeance that would soothe my heart,
Healing injustices and erasing fear.
My childhood words remained too fragile inside me,
Unable to defend myself or make a choice.
Then time passed, and I understood the distance,
That everyone moves at their own pace, in silence.
But the beauties of life finally calmed me,
Reconciled me with the hours and the past.
We wish we could suspend those moments of light,
When happiness fills our whole atmosphere.
We forget about time, yet the mind remembers
That trembling fear of what tomorrow brings.
Then age advances, and retirement calls us,
A siding where our soul is quietly stored away.
As if living still disturbed the mirror,
Forgive me for having words and hope.
Forgive me for still having things to offer,
Facing the fear that comes silently to weaken us.
When the ink of memory erases faces,
I want to shout “I love you” before turning the page.
I want to give again, as long as time allows,
One last surge of life, a final promise.
And in the eyes of those who waver around me,
I see hours that tremble,
Gestures still trying to hold on.
The body hesitating, the mind thinning,
And this slow disappearance
Brushes against my own light.
So we move forward gently,
With this new attention
That the years give us
When they teach us to see differently
What drifts away,
What frightens us.
And sometimes, in this time offered,
Days take on a slower color,
As if certain presences
Slipped a little further into the light.
Time flows without waiting,
And sometimes it fades, sometimes it is born,
In a movement no one can hold back.
Joël Charvillat