My dog is barking and my head is spinning again I think I drank too much of that cough syrup, I don’t try and do things like this too myself you know – it just happens – like that one time he tried to kiss me and I said no – but he continued anyway and then that one time following this where he slipped his hand over my mouth and told me not to tell our friends of the ways he touched me then left me. Oh god I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt you I never meant to open my mouth you’re on my mind all the time whenever you are not on my fingertips – tap tap tap – I’ve lost the past week in sleep I’m losing my mind again – my mother did that when she was 19 too, y’know. I’ve lost my beckoning I do not know what I am doing oh god I’m so sorry please open the door, I’m knocking so hard I have to come in, in in in.