I’ve been trying to sand this down into something simple, but it won’t smooth out.
so here it is
I miss you
Softly, stubbornly
And I carry an apology with it
like something warm I don’t quite know where to set down
The moon was out tonight, and she did that predictable thing
pulled you into my thoughts
But she wasn’t gentle this time
She pressed, just slightly, against my chest, and I realized that missing you has learned how to ache
I wish I had been softer in the ways that mattered
I can see now how my hands
my words
my silences
might have felt like distance
or worse
like leaving.
My presence is still with you
Not somewhere far
Not leaving you behind
not in a way that turns care into something cold and unrecognizable
We are just two people who felt too much at the same time and didn’t know where to place it.
Take your time.
Let this sit quietly somewhere.
It doesn’t need an answer yet.
I just keep thinking, we’ve been catching sparks off each other instead of warmth.
And I don’t want us to burn out over something we could learn to hold together.
I still want that with you. Even if we have to learn it slowly, even if we’re a little unsteady at first.