Auntie Jean got a gun and she loves it. She calls it her little .38 special, and she carries it around in a concealed harness under her jacket all the time. She even brought it to Christmas once.

Auntie Jean also loves wine, and she carries that around a lot too, concealed in a paper bag so crinkled it looks like a burlap sack with a glass neck with a cork in it sticking out. She brings that to Christmas every year.