There was a period
when we kept buying plants
as if the apartment
was failing some invisible exam
about tenderness
One by one
they leaned toward the window
with religious desperation
The basil died first
which felt symbolic
in an aggressive way
You said
maybe we overwater things
Neither of us clarified
At night
the neighbors upstairs
dragged chairs across the floor
slowly
like they were rearranging guilt
The radiator hissed
Pipes knocked inside the walls
with old Soviet determination
Everything in the building
sounded temporary
except loneliness
That winter
you developed the habit
of falling asleep during movies
Not because you were tired
more like your body
kept leaving the room early
I watched entire films alone
beside your sleeping outline
People onscreen survived wars
alien invasions
catastrophic love affairs
Meanwhile
we stopped touching each other
with any accidental confidence
Even our apologies
became carefully measured
like expensive spices
Once
in the supermarket
you asked if we needed anything else
and for one insane second
I almost answered:
a different version of us
But the bananas were ripening too fast
and you were comparing yogurt prices
with genuine concentration
which felt cruel somehow
Outside
snow collected in the parking lot
gray at the edges
like every beautiful thing
after enough contact with the world
Later
you stood at the sink
washing the same glass
for a very long time
Brooklyn glowed outside
through ***** kitchen curtains
Ambulances moved through the avenue
like unresolved thoughts
You suddenly laughed
not happily
more like something inside you
had slipped on ice
I remember thinking:
this is how people disappear
Not with betrayal
not with violence
Just slowly becoming careful
around each other
until the love itself
starts acting formal
like two diplomats
representing countries
that no longer exist