It's the holidays.
**** me, right?
I hate them, Christmas,
the family meetings, the "cheery" smiles everyone forces themselves to wear.
The dinners and closed doors that hide whispers that you know are about you,
the way they say, "You've grown so much! Maybe you should lose some weight..."
The way they try not to look you in the eye, the smiles, the laughs, the ******* jokes.
The ******* glitter and presents and everything everyone thinks you want,
when all you really want is for everyone to shut the **** up.

I only love the way the lights twinkle, the perfect way
that the snow falls,
the bitter, cold, lonely nights you spend alone.
But the way the lights twinkle, it gives me a sense of hope.

I just loathe the evenings that everyone is drinking and ******* laughing and having such a "great time".
The way I feel I don't fit in, anywhere,
the way absolutely no one wants me there, and you ******* know it.