I still remember the summer I fell for you.
That summer would define the next three years of my life.
It would shape who I was,
who you made me become,
and who I will be.
The grass was dead on that hill,
oh how poetically predictive.
You waited until the last second to ask me to our formal dinner.
Even from the beginning you barely cared.
And to think this all started at church camp...
You ruined that for me you know?
Church and fellowship-
why would I go if I have to endure your face?
You broke your life.
Was it really necessary to break mine too?

That summer will create the foundation for scars that you will never get to see.
There are days,
well mostly nights,
that I am overcome with those torrents of emotions that drive me to tears.
They used to be waves of confusion and love-
a sadistic, twisted love.
But now,
it's just pain,
and rage,
and a hatred that moves me to tears.

I hate how bruised and broken you left me.
Don't you understand how much of a mess you left me in?
Forget about me.
Think of the next man I will let into my heart
(if I ever take that chance).
How is it fair to him?
What gave you the ******* right to leave me a damaged ball of bitterness?
Who would have thought the power of emotions I feel could fit into my 5'2" frame?

It's dangerous.
I'm a wildfire that could burn through my soul,
scorch my best friend,
break my new possibility,
and destroy you.

Oh how I could destroy you.
You don't realize how much I am holding back.
Every text,
every hug,
every smile,
every word that you tease me with takes an immeasurable amount of my control.
And when I run out of that control,
boy,
you
better
run
too.
I can destroy you.
Yet I choose not to.
You need to pray that I will never make that other choice.
I promised you that I could burn through the center of everything that you hold on too.
Boy,
I could destroy you in ways you never thought of.
I could pay you back tenfold.
So here's a warning-
stay far away from
me
and my rage.