It’s never enough.
No matter how many fake smiles,
No matter how many hallow laughs,
The thoughts still linger,
Engraving a deadly scar
In my chaotic head.
It’s never enough.
No matter how many people I push away,
No matter how much I plead for help,
My begs are ignored,
My scars remain unnoticed
Under my army of bracelets- a line of defense.
It’s never enough.
No matter how many panic attacks,
No matter how much I leave my body,
“She’s fine, just tired”
But they miss out why-
“tired of existing”
It’s never enough.
No matter how much I scratch,
No matter how much I pick my skin,
The pain is too short
To quiet the thoughts
To make me think someone’s there.
It’s never enough.
No matter how much I burn,
No matter how much blood I draw,
The fire is never hot enough,
The blood is never red enough
To make me enough.
Perhaps a shaper blade,
Or an ocean,
Or a rope,
Or a bridge,
Or pills
Will be enough.