the concept of only existing inside of those aware of your existence
has allowed the analogy to pick my brain.
When there was nothing left all I had
my heart, unalloyed.
without combining fragments of your temperament
somehow bathing in your essential nature.
I’ve touched so many parts of you without using my hands.
though I can wash my hands and dry them
my perception can not be cleaned
just as my eyes cannot forget what has been seen.
Without that awareness
I imagine I’d count every star
just to pass by the time
waiting for a love that shall prevail
never knowing what it means to meet your eyes,
never knowing my only solace.
still I would yearn for the same glow
that meets my obscurity
I’d still have hints of everything that represents the innermost parts of you before I could learn your name.
a curse I find more horrifying than immortality.
I’m aware of your existence and I know you wish you weren’t aware of mine at all.
permanently.