When I logged onto HP this morning the red number on the little house said 1.1k, that’s one-thousand and 100 posts - if I’m reading it right.
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of personal injury - I’m missing it all. How can I ever catch up? School gets in the way of everything.
Ok, let's wax poetic… about Peter, my boyfriend of 4 years (time flies).
If I have him hooked, there's fragile evidence
a girl can be powerful and helpless
it's inconvenient
He's normal-fine, but to me, dangerously cute -
not like some fey, pretty boy - but too good to ignore -
and he carries himself with disheveled, boss confidence
We have no stilted conversations, we chatter away
his opinions are flexible - and he lives without apology
I think he secretly sees me as a long-form project
He's brought order to my emotional chaos,
and tempered my irreverent indifference
He knows my successes don’t soothe me
If he gives me gravitas, I give him sparkle and irony
His senseless adoration of me makes me self-conscious
and softens my insecurities - which multiply when untethered
He's a well of sun-bleached optimism and kept promises,
and he matters more to me than all of my other favorite things,
like tech gadgets, oysters on the half-shell and icy, stirred martinis.
His allure has always existed outside of that last, ephemeral corruptive.
He’s the one I want, in the hushed stillness after the party.
I hope that our love is more than crushed ice that melts away
because when he consumes me, there'll be no crumbs left.
.
.
A song for this:
We Can't Stop (feat. Bea Miller) by Boyce Avenue
We Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus
Into You by Ariana Grande