Do you ever get that feeling
That means you are constantly revealing
The minds of all, secrets of all
That just makes you want to bawl.
I always notice
How they hide their faces, their stomachs, their thighs,
Trying to mask their insecurities within lies.
I always notice
The flinches that come with a fake slap,
That screams they’re in a trap.
I always notice
The scars beneath the hair ties
That they put on as a disguise.
I.
Always.
Notice.
They think it’s a wonderful blessing
But really it distressing:
Something that haunts me, strangles me, kills me
Making me nothing but a desperate plea.
Every day I beg for this curse to end
So I can stop trying to amend
The lives of others which I clearly cannot
Because I too think of a shot
Right in the middle of my head
To stop this never ending dread.
They don’t see how this “skill”
Came from me wanting to ****
In the middle of the night,
In my grip a flaming light.
They never notice
How I rush to the sink
Despite my desperate attempts not to re-think.
They never notice
The darkness behind my bright eyes,
Hiding all my silent cries.
They never notice
The scars on my skin
All long and thin.
They.
Never.
Notice.
But
I always notice.