and i wonder how i got to here.

smile. whether for me, or him or anyone else
in particular, i don't know anymore.
not now.
and i do not question it.
because regardless of whether or not i like it,
this city is beautiful,
the shallow curve of the mountains
in the distance as the traffic spans
the boulevards beside me.
for i inhabit (this) now,
and my body moves, one foot
after another, the stretch and the pull
of my muscles in the morning,
the curve of my stomach as my hands
wrap around the width of my hips
in photos, and the mirror
and the odd moments where i am simply
aware of just being.

i have barely begun to explore the start
of my arrival (at the spaces between my ribs,
the line from my neck to the top
of my shoulders, the curve of my jaw,
the crease of my eyelids while i smile,
hands on my hips, body curving over
in laughter while i dig my fingers
into my belt loops in an attempt to stay steady).
and in the end,
i am happy regardless
of how i got here.