"Gifted and Mature"

I suppose I'm "gifted" and "mature"

at least that's what you tell me

So much that it's engrained in my brain

After all, you can't wash out every stain

You say "gifted"

I say trapped

I just want to fall into the endless black

They won't judge me there

I promise I'll make my way back

I want to plummet

and feel the rush

Without worrying about having to claw my way up

You say "mature"

I say scarred and insecure

I can't look at her face

But I see her in every place

I want the ground to swallow me up

But that would bring it all back

Her hands on me

Pushing me down

No, I don't want that

I would rather fall and fall and fall

With no feeling at all

Into the endless gray

So

yes

I guess I am "gifted" and "mature"

If that means trapped and insecure

Your empty words mean nothing to me

Unless they can see what's hidden underneath

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