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Mutism

by marisa-lu-makil

Friendship feels to me like one more maintenance duty, not the resting place it ought to be. Death feels like a very kind option I don't know how to slow down–mind or body, and I wish so badly that someone would show me. Death feels like a soft and slow choice Everything feels like static around me, I'm just moving through it. Death seems like a very quiet sleep I don't know why I'm like this. Death feels like something I don't have to know. It feels like anger is building in me, but I don't know why I'm angry or who I'm angry at. Death seems like quite a peaceful sort of thing. I don't know what it feels like to be happy Death feels like somewhere it won't matter I think I might be faking things. Death feels like I won't have to pretend. I feel like I'm trying really hard, but it's making me worse. Death feels like the striving would be over. My life feels like a long line of unfocused vision. Death feels like a blank canvas.
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Written by
marisa-lu-makil
27 / F
For You?
Written by
marisa-lu-makil
27 / F
Published
Mar 20
Time
2m
Notes

Sorry, not super flowy or beautiful, I just needed somewhere to tell people that I feel like I'm slowly getting worse, and it feels like I'm going backwards in the healing journey. I don't even know how I feel. I don't know what it feels like, but I can't say any of this out loud.

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