I finally realized
what the last 5 years of my life have been
the way I let myself get treated
hurt, put down
treated like I was their child and not their friend
and then, you left
out of the blue, blaming me
taking other friends with you
but you leaving gave me time to think
I never deserved how you treated me
Yes, I messed up, and
Yes, I hurt you too
but the constant on and off,
the never being a priority to you
I deserve better
I deserve someone who wouldn't constantly be mad
who wouldn't trash talk people behind their back
and be fake to their face
It has only taken one day
to see how my other friends treat me
like I matter, like I'm important
It doesn't mean it isn't sad
all those years wasted
and it doesn't mean I won't cry,
take time to mourn a friendship that could have continued
but there is a certain kind of relief involved as well,
knowing I will never have to deal with
the fallout of your actions ever again
and maybe I will always love you, always care
but maybe, finally, I'll have the chance to be happy