i could have gone
a thousand times
the door was open
the road was there
the light outside kept beckoning
i didn’t
not brave
not faithful
not believing
anything would change
leaving
required
a different strength
one
i did not have
so i sat
and let the world
decide around me
the seasons passed the window
the roof learned to leak in new places
the floorboards kept my shape
as if
my waiting
was something
given
still
the light beckons
and with each full breath
my hand moves closer
to the door
one day
someone may find this room
and wonder
who lived there
no one
i was only present
and that
is not the same thing