I still smell your hair,
mistake your shadow on the stairs,
hear your voice from down the hall,
when there is nothing there at all.
I smell your cooking,
hear you singing,
Feel the fibers of your jacket,
Tears falling, head ringing
I hear your laugh,
I see your smile,
your voice still melts me
despite the miles
of space
You've put between us.
A punch to the face
would be less abrasive
than seeing your clothes still
hanging there and not holding me--
and the guest book
on your dresser with our
names and that date--
the day we held hands
with fate,
the day you looked at me
your eyes so simply
holding onto my gaze
because we couldn't let each other
go, we were holding on so hard...
That was before. That was before.
I have to remind myself
that what was mine,
I thought was mine,
Never really was,
Never really could have been...
An experiment that the tides washed
and now somehow I'm missing buttons
and that dress doesn't fit anymore.
I'm so scared to hear your voice now,
my heart breaks a thousand times
every
syllable,
Every shard of a reflection,
Lost in your inflection,
Smirking because I love you,
Crying for everything else.