you rewrote the alphabet
as you read me lullabies
you gave me a new way to spell my name
it kills me to have to say goodbye.
I thought you could hold me
& I'm so sorry I misjudged;
I was only thinking of your built, strong arms
& didn't calculate my dead weight.
It's not that you aren't what I want
(or else this wouldn't be so hard)
it's that you aren't what I need
& I realize now that you can't save me.

I'm gonna be my own white knight
find myself in the searing light
step out of my victim's shoes
work through the blackest of blues.
unfortunately,
painfully,
without you.